As Christians, we are called to love others as Christ loves us—impartially, generously, and without favoritism. However, even with the best intentions, we may still show subtle forms of favoritism without realizing it. The Bible warns against this in James 2:1:
“My brothers and sisters, do not show favoritism as you hold on to the faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ.”
Favoritism isn’t always blatant; sometimes, it creeps in through small, unconscious decisions in how we interact with others. It might not look like outright discrimination, but rather an unnoticed tendency to favor certain people over others based on our preferences, biases, or comfort levels.
Here are some subtle ways you may be showing favoritism without realizing it:
1. Giving More Grace to Certain People
You may be more patient and forgiving with friends, family, or those who align with your views while holding others to a harsher standard.
2. Social Preferences in Church or Community
Do you naturally gravitate toward people similar to you while unintentionally ignoring those who are different? This could be due to shared interests, background, or social status.
3. Serving Based on Comfort Rather Than Need
Do you prefer helping those you feel comfortable with, rather than those who may be more difficult, needy, or socially outcast? True servanthood is about meeting real needs, not just easy ones.
4. Listening More to Certain People
You may find yourself giving more weight to the opinions of well-liked or respected individuals while disregarding the input of quieter or less popular people.
5. Assuming the Best (or Worst) Based on Status
We can unconsciously trust or respect someone more because of their wealth, position, or appearance while being skeptical of those who lack status or influence.
6. Selective Generosity
It’s easy to be generous with time, money, or effort toward people who can offer something in return. But what about those who can’t? Jesus calls us to give without expecting anything back (Luke 14:12-14).
7. Mentoring or Discipling Only Certain Types of People
Do you invest in people who remind you of yourself or fit a specific mold? Jesus welcomed all who were willing to follow Him, regardless of their background.
8. Unconscious Bias in Evangelism
You may feel more eager to share the gospel with people who seem “ready” or relatable while avoiding those who seem difficult, intimidating, or uninterested.
9. Judging Different Struggles Differently
We often show empathy toward people struggling with sins we understand but are harsher toward those dealing with sins we don’t relate to. God’s grace is for all sinners, not just those whose struggles make sense to us.
10. Praying More for Certain People
Do you spend more time praying for family, friends, and people you admire while neglecting to intercede for those you dislike, disagree with, or don’t know well?
11. Showing More Enthusiasm for Some People’s Success
We may celebrate victories more when they happen to people we like while being indifferent—or even resentful—when others succeed.
12. Favoring Certain Theological or Political Views
Are you more accepting of believers who align with your doctrinal or political views while being dismissive or judgmental toward those who differ? Christ unites believers beyond human divisions.
13. Giving More Attention to Those Who Can Help You
It’s tempting to engage more with people who offer personal or professional benefits, but are we neglecting those who have nothing to offer in return?
14. Being More Willing to Reconcile with Some Than Others
Do you seek reconciliation quickly with certain people but hold onto grudges longer with those you struggle to like? Jesus commands us to forgive unconditionally (Matthew 6:14-15).
15. Applying Biblical Principles Selectively
Are you teaching or emphasizing certain aspects of Scripture that align with your perspective while ignoring those that challenge your biases? The whole counsel of God is meant to shape us, not just the parts we like.
Self-Reflection: Where Might You Be Showing Favoritism?
Favoritism is subtle, but it can have a significant impact on how we reflect Christ to others. The good news is that awareness is the first step toward change. Ask yourself:
- Which of these areas do I struggle with the most?
- How can I intentionally show Christlike love to those I might be neglecting?
- Am I willing to ask God to reveal my blind spots and help me grow?
James 2:8 reminds us of the “royal law” found in Scripture:
“Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Let’s strive to love impartially, as Christ loves us. Take a moment today to pray and ask God to reveal any hidden favoritism in your heart—and to help you love others with a heart that reflects His.
What are your thoughts? Have you noticed any of these subtle tendencies in your own life? Let’s discuss in the comments!
